We all want to live in peace with everyone else. And we often have to make compromises, while trying to be kind and polite. But very often, being good actually backfires because some people see it as a weakness and try to use us for their own purposes. There’s a fine line between being polite and not respecting yourself and we all need to be able to not cross it.
We at Bright Side have discussed this problem many times and we finally want to show you what happens to people that don’t believe in themselves.
They skimp on themselves to buy something for someone else.
We often think that when we don’t buy something we want, we can prove something to other people. For example, we think a husband will love it if his wife doesn’t buy something she wants or needs to make room for his needs. But in fact, people just end up thinking that this is exactly how it should be. And if we can’t spend money or time on ourselves, other people will think we don’t deserve it.
They don’t love their bodies.
In the modern world, it may be hard to love your imperfect body: all the magazine covers and web pages we are exposed to have photos of perfect models without wrinkles and extra weight. So, of course, many women have an inferiority complex because of that. But beauty is very subjective. Some people will think that you look like a goddess, some people won’t. So, in the end, it doesn’t matter if you have wrinkles, you will find someone who loves you for what you are.
They don’t express their opinions.
Sometimes, we do things just because we don’t know how to say no. We drive an extra mile, we waste our time and our gas, we arrive late to work — all to not have to say the terrible word “no.” Either we are scared of offending other people or we don’t want to look rude or selfish. And there are many people that use our weaknesses against us.
They don’t trust themselves and ask for advice all the time.
Insecurity can sometimes be useful — it keeps us safe from unnecessary risks and dangerous consequences. But being too self-critical and unsatisfied with yourself can lead to depression. People that don’t believe in themselves and look around for advice often become the victims of someone else’s manipulations. It just makes them feel more uncomfortable.
They try not to say no.
Many people are unable to say no because they want other people’s approval. The reason is that they didn’t get enough love from their parents. They had to work hard to deserve it. So, when you know that love has to be earned, you try to be good for everyone when you are an adult. This is really convenient for other people but really hard for the people pleaser.
They tolerate obvious disrespect.
Many of us have had to deal with disrespect, but we all react in different ways. People with the so-called victim-mentality are ready to tolerate a lot and other people just say something like, “I guess, he enjoys it.” But, in reality, these people just don’t have the power to find a way out of an abusive relationship. Unfortunately, there is always someone that will use this person.
They can’t recognize abject flattery.
When people lack self-confidence, they don’t get enough respect and attention and they have the need to feel that they matter. These people are easily flattered. But of course, this might come at a high price. Many people will use this to their own advantage. So, people that flatter their bosses often have better positions and work conditions.
They do things against their own interest.
We often want to do anything to satisfy our friends’ and relatives’ needs, even if it harms our own interests. But in fact, the sacrifices we make are not as necessary as they might seem. More than that, in some cases, it is bad to act this way. For example, when we do it in front of our children, we show them that they don’t need to accept their responsibilities.
They tolerate it when other people don’t take their jobs seriously.
A lot of people still think that those who are freelancers don’t really work, they just get paid. It’s because nobody actually sees you working: you don’t go to the office every day, nobody sees how tired you are. And you still get paid. This is why people often want to make you do more things around the house because you are at home anyway. And they don’t care that you have a real job that needs to be done.
They don’t make time to rest.
There’s so much to do and so little time to do it. All adults have probably experienced this. But some people learn to ask for help and others keep trying to do it all by themselves. As a result, the workload never gets better and we get so exhausted that we can’t even enjoy our lives anymore.
Have you ever had similar situations in your life? Tell us about them in the comment section below.