Even if your family is very involved in your life, it doesn’t always mean you should discuss every topic with them. Some things might seem innocent enough to talk about, but in reality, they might hold the risk of hurting those close to you and may even cause a dispute. That’s why it’s important to sometimes draw a line and not share several personal details about yourself.
Bright Side wants to discuss the importance of taking care of your own emotions and the feelings of those you’re close to. And even though there are some topics that are best to avoid, it doesn’t mean you should be closed off from your family or avoid talking to them.
1. Your future plans
When we share our goals with those close to us, it can trick our brains into thinking that we have already achieved them, even though we haven’t. This leads us to put less effort into what we want to do, making things harder for us. Telling your family your exact plans for the future should do no harm, but it’s better to avoid mentioning every single detail.
2. Problems in your relationship
Letting your family know that you have some minor issues is usually not a problem. But when you try to get into the details on a deeper level, revealing all of the negative things you think and feel might lead to some troubles later on. Your family members don’t share the same bond with your partner as you do, so later, when you forgive and forget, they may still hold a grudge against them. They may also worry about you and continue to doubt and be suspicious of your significant other.
3. How much you earn and your finances
If you earn money yourself, then just saying the average yearly amount may be a good idea. Your family doesn’t need to know about every cent you earn and how things go. Also, if there are any financial issues or increases, it’s better not to give too many details. Delicate topics like money can make them worried and cause them to give unnecessary advice on how to manage things, which can lead to disagreements and arguments.
4. Secrets about yourself and others
Gossiping might seem like a harmless activity for many of us, especially with our close family members. But no matter how much you trust them, there’s always a chance that they’ll spill some unnecessary information to others. This can have a negative effect on you and possibly spoil your relationships with your other friends and distant family members.
5. Your plans for having children
Your parents might want grandchildren and constantly ask you when you want to give birth. But remember, you’re the one who ultimately will make the choice when the right time comes. In order to avoid misunderstandings or even arguments, it’s sometimes better to avoid this topic or at least make sure they won’t get access to too much information regarding it.
6. Revealing that they made you feel upset in the past
Bringing up things that happened to you in the past is not always the best idea, especially if those memories can make you remember that pain again. Talking about this topic again might bright the problem back to the surface and cause trouble. If you can, try to resolve it within yourself and forgive. Only if the problem brings on a healthy, non-aggressive discussion between you and your family should you bring it up, and carefully.
7. Your mistakes
Some minor faults can be revealed, but when it comes to major fails, it might be better to keep them a secret. The reason for this is because it may cause your parents to worry about you, and they’ll want to help to improve the situation. But not everything can be solved by them — in fact, they don’t need to do this for you. In most cases, you can try to develop your own state of mind without running to them for help.
8. Your beliefs and things you like
Religion, politics, and views on this world — these delicate topics should sometimes be avoided, even with family members. Sometimes, when people hear opposite opinions, it’s hard for them to contain themselves and they might want to push their beliefs on others. This might turn into a huge argument and can even spoil your relationship with them.
9. Your precise location, 24/7
When you’re still a child, it’s natural for your mom to constantly track where you are. When you become an adult, there’s no need for this anymore. If your parents are overly protective and still demand it, you need to have a talk with them and explain that this can mentally pressure you and violate your personal space.
How often do you turn to your family for advice? What topics about yourself do you reveal to your family?